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Even the fact that she has been stringing you along for a year is a sexual plus. E-mail your questions to: Similarly, for a man who is not fully sensate, the physiological jolt of adrenaline and orgasm may feel even more profound. It makes me wonder whether you might have trouble accessing your own emotions. In the long term, I think that you would really benefit from a course of therapy to help you to explore some of the underlying issues that might be preventing you from engaging in a relationship based on more than just sex. There is no doubt that some people are able to compartmentalise sex to a greater degree than others, but the desire to love, and to be loved in return, is such a basic human need that even people with alexithymia an inability to identify, or discern emotion strive to form committed relationships. Most of what we do is learnt behaviour, but somehow it seems easier to consider questionable sexual practices as a pathology.

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Profound, but unsustainable, because, ultimately, all lasting relationships require some degree of emotional connection. Is it her, or the illicitness of the situation? It makes me wonder whether you might have trouble accessing your own emotions. They also require mutual respect, honesty and love, qualities that are inevitably compromised in a union borne of infidelity. After all, if you have difficulty sharing or understanding your feelings, a relationship based on a straightforward sexual transaction might feel much more manageable for you. Similarly, for a man who is not fully sensate, the physiological jolt of adrenaline and orgasm may feel even more profound. Even the fact that she has been stringing you along for a year is a sexual plus. Ultimately it is a risk that most of us are prepared to take because we believe that we deserve to be loved.

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Ultimately it is a risk that most of us are prepared to take because we believe that we deserve to be loved. Similarly, for a man who is not fully sensate, the physiological jolt of adrenaline and orgasm may feel even more profound. In the long term, I think that you would really benefit from a course of therapy to help you to explore some of the underlying issues that might be preventing you from engaging in a relationship based on more than just sex. Is it her, or the illicitness of the situation? In reality, sex addicts are very rare and they are all, without exception, burdened by a complete inability to control their sexual impulses. Love does feel good, and fluid, and caring, and all encompassing. After all, if you have difficulty sharing or understanding your feelings, a relationship based on a straightforward sexual transaction might feel much more manageable for you.

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